8 Things That Hold You Back

What are you tolerating that is taking away from you living the life you truly want?

Recently in my daily practice of gratitude and setting goals for 2014, I have come to learn that I have been tolerating aspects of my life that don’t contribute to the life I truly want. More and more I am learning that these aspects contribute heavily to whether or not I am being mindful, grateful and generous to others, and if I am taking care of myself.

I am saying no more to the following aspects that distract me from living a truly fulfilling life:

Words that hold me back (but; should; can’t; if only)

The words “but, should, can’t, if only” are little excuses we use to stop moving forward with things we are fearful of. We hold ourselves back when we use these words and keep us closed off from new ideas, new experiences and our dreams. As I focus on my business, I realize that I’ve been using “if only” a lot more than normal.  So I’m resolving to catch myself and “do” more. I’m also resolving to use “yes, and” instead of “but” in conversations with people. This practice keeps me on the positive side of things and opens the door more frequently to possibility.

Shutting Down in Hard Times

I have a tendency to shut down with my words and feelings when I’m experiencing hard times. When I’m at my most vulnerable, I simply want to curl up in a corner with my book and blanket and talk to NO ONE – eegads! This patten doesn’t quite help in garnering support from loved ones especially when I refuse to reach out to them when I need them the most! So, I’m resolving to express myself more, be vulnerable when I’m scared, acknowledge where I am, and practice communicating when previously I would shut myself away.

Driving for Long Periods of Time

My last job was all about driving which left me with a constantly aching back and neck. Not only was it not fun to be in Silicon Valley traffic regularly but my car didn’t like it either. So while I still LOVE my road trips, I’m saying no to unnecessary driving.


I’m saying no to drama and to tolerating the negativity that comes with drama. I have to admit to having less and less drama in my life and am adding this to my list because even the littlest of drama can be absolutely energy draining.

Less Stuff

Sticking to the basic necessities of life is something that I’ve always prided myself on except when I looked around my place and realized that I have too much STUFF! I’m seriously not a shopaholic and rarely go out “shopping” for the fun of it; however, I find myself buying things when I’m stressed out. Yup, I confess to shopping therapy. My go-to items tend to be books, shoes, music, and stuff from World Market Cost Plus (mostly kitchen items). No more random shopping sprees and more “yes” to long walks or jogs if I’m feeling stressed out.

Taking Myself too Seriously

I was known as a class clown in high school and being funny was my “thang.” What happened in the last ten years to change my fun-loving humorous take on life to the “professional life coach who will change the world” perspective? It’s way more fun being silly and telling corny jokes which helps me be more free and playful with people.  Granted, there are times I need to be serious; however, having an attitude of joy and play allows me the freedom to be my authentic funny self.

being silly with my brother

being silly with my brother

Not Trying New Things

Two years ago I was all about trying new things. Then 2013 came around and I feel as though I haven’t tried anything new at all! This year I resolve to try things that are outside of my comfort zone and/or things I haven’t done in a long time. Definitely kayaking, paddle-boarding, new foods, new places to visit, and memorizing a new joke or two.

Starting Something and Not Finishing It

Ever feel like you’re full of great new ideas that simply never see their day? I feel you! Too often I have a fantastic idea, start work on it, and then the next shiny new thing that comes along distracts me. Next thing I know, that original project is stalled and it never is fully realized. It’s time to start something (examples are a repurposed jewelry stand, light fixtures, photography projects, coaching services) and see it through!

What is holding you back from experiencing a wondrous and fulfilling 2014? It’s not to late to reflect and resolve to letting go of what is not helping you!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s